The good news is that eventually, this email will just be photos of my dog.
But first, the bad news:
To be clear: I love dogs. I love Donut, the dog I now co-own with my partner. I love other people’s dogs. If you tell me you have a cute photo or video of your down, or you have some story of what your dog did over the weekend, I want to hear it! I want to see it!
So when I say dog owners are boring, I’m absolutely not talking about you. I’m only talking about me1.
Dog owners are so boring. All we want to talk about is our dog. We take a million photos that all look the same, a million videos of our dogs doing the things they always do. At least when parents do the same things with their babies, the babies are actual human beings who actively grow and change and will have things like opinions, thoughts, a perspective they can share. A puppy just becomes a dog! And no matter how beloved your fur baby2 is, they’re still an animal.
These are the things I actively consider while scrolling through the millions of photos I’ve managed to accrue over my short time owning Donut.
I could try to be less of a boring dog owner, but I’m not interested in that. I could take fewer photos of him, but I will not. I could be the kind of owner who would never dress their pet up, but Donut is intensely chill (and looks adorable), so as long as he doesn’t seem uncomfortable, I’ll continue dressing him up.
I’ve looked up dog-friendly recipes. I baby him constantly, and then tell of my partner for babying him. I have tucked him into his bed outside multiple times because, even though he has lived outside for his whole life (8 years!) with his previous owner, he will sook and cry and pretend not to hear us when we say it’s bedtime and he has to go outside now.
I spend a lot of time overthinking things I shouldn’t, and I’m hoping that writing all this out will make me less liable to overthink my Boring Dog Owner status. I also know it’s not going to happen! I’m a fucking hipster3! And as much as I champion like, corniness and vulnerability and liking what you like, my dark twisted core still burns my tongue on coffee because I had to drink it before it was cool. I honestly think it makes me worse than being a slightly dull dog owner.
I don’t know how to stop being the worst of both worlds. Doing all the boring dog owner shit while complaining about it? The worst! What should I do? Stop overthinking? Rewatch Ted Lasso? Touch grass?
For now, I think I’ll just stick with taking the same million photos and videos of my dog. How could I not? I love him. He doesn’t need to love me back.
He’s just a dog, after all.
Thanks for reading! Have a treat:
I think of this video every time I leave the house now.
Hey, if you liked this email, you can subscribe or share or whatever - but you could also reply with photos of your pets? They do not have to be dogs. All pets are good.
I’m not even talking about my partner, who co-owns Donut and should really be just as bad as I am. Weird how I can tell everyone else that they’re still cool and interesting pet owners - but not me!
Listen, you do you, but I will not call myself a dog parent, or a parent to a ‘fur baby’ because I hate it. Fur baby feels gross to say. Calling your dog ‘baby ‘as an endearment, however, is somehow completely different, and I will not hear otherwise.
(derogatory)