I’m working on becoming a morning person, and I’m trying to be positive about it.
Being a morning person has, for the longest time, felt like it must be a completely alien experience. In my mind, morning people leap out of bed at 5AM, immediately make their bed, drink some lemon water, go on a light 2KM jog, and then finish their morning reading something beautiful and illuminating while eating a parfait made from homemade yogurt and fruit from the garden. And then at 9PM, they fall asleep easily on their lavender-scented sheets, instead of scrolling through Twitter till 2AM.
In stark contrast, I, like most garbage people, start my mornings by picking up my phone, snoozing my alarm and immediately checking my emails. And if it’s a writing (read: not paid work) day, I do so for an embarrassing amount of time that I don’t want to quantify because there are people who believe waking up at 9AM is sleeping in.
But I’m working to become a morning person because I deserve it. I’m certainly not going to start my day in a perfect state of productive wellness*, but I don’t need to start my day tired, upset and anxious. No one should be reading work emails or learning about the latest political travesty the second they wake up. It’s not helpful, it’s not productivity, and it makes you feel like shit. No one deserves that!
I haven’t quite mastered the key things, like ‘not picking your phone up right away,’ or ‘sleep for a reasonable and consistent amount of time,’ but I’m taking little steps. I actually make my bed in the morning (it helps! I hate that it helps). I have a blue light filter on my phone. I (finally) deleted my work email on my mail app. I light my candles instead of hoarding them for some unknown occasion because wanting to smell something nice in the morning is a good enough reason to use a candle. I started unsubscribing to the millions of brands I follow, and instead started reading more tinyletter and substack emails***. After once working a job that made me terrified of my inbox, it feels nice to know I have something new and lovely to read every day.
I’m not a naturally positive person, the same way I’m not naturally a morning person. But I don’t think positivity is some innate trait. I think you can learn it, if you practice enough. You make it a habit, like making your bed or putting your phone away.
I rewrote this first newsletter many times because I kept getting hung up on how imperfect my morning routines are. The first two paragraphs were just unnecessary self-flagellation over my mornings, followed by more name-calling because I was doing such a terrible job at being positive. It took me several edits before I deleted most of it, and even then, I still kept the line where I call myself ‘a garbage person,’ something I would never accuse anyone of being just because they wake up too late to work out in the mornings.
Adjusting my daily routines, writing and rewriting, accepting imperfections - everything is still a practice. And to be honest, on my darker days, that sucks! It sucks that a magic wand can’t make you a better human and fix your brain.
But right now, I’m taking it as a positive. Everything is a practice - which means that it’s all possible! Even if you feel like a garbage human being.
Thank you for reading! Have a treat.
*Also ‘productive wellness,’ i.e. the wellness of paid meditation apps, Youtube morning routines, and expensive juicers, is a capitalist scam, and I’m not here for it. But this is a newsletter about happy things! So let’s just leave it at that**.
**Eat the rich.
***This morning, I read thank you notes, by Justin Wolfe, and who’s on judge mathis today? (a.k.a. books/snacks/softcore) by Samantha Irby. Both highly recommended!