Man, my friends are so cool.
I’m friends with a lot of folks who are artists and creatives in some way, which you might think makes it easy to have cool friends, but if you spend any amount of time in a creative industry, you know that a lot of people make Really Boring Shit.
Think about the ‘don’t need to learn the rules because we’re going to break them’ kind of creatives.
The First Year at Film School kind of creatives.
The Too Much Money to Have Taste kind of creatives.
You know the type.
And somehow, my friends aren’t like that. They’re instead people who can make brilliant things out of lean budgets, who are constantly teaching themselves new techniques and trying new mediums, who Make Cool Shit on a consistent basis.
And they’re smart too!
If it’s about a dramatic subject, they deal with it with taste and nuance. They never do Edgy Shit for the sake of being edgy, or if they did, they know better now. If everyone has a unique perspective, they have the know-how and thoughtfulness to actually share it in a way that’s comprehensive and interesting. I am a smart person, but can share my insights and teach what I know in the way some of my friends can? Definitely not! That takes True Pedagogical Genius.
This isn’t just my artist friends either, it’s all of them. Obviously they can’t all be impressive geniuses, but I, a true dummy, all too often underestimate how smart some of my friends can be. It’s a humbling lesson to not make assumptions and be so condescending.
And the thing is, even though I do this very bitchy thing to people who care about me, they are all still very understanding and thoughtful. There’s a difference between being nice and being kind, and while my friends are not always “nice,” they are always kind. They’re the kind of people who think it’s important to not look away from the horrors of the world, and more importantly, to do something about it. They know that caring is and allyship is an action, and they always try. Even when it’s hard. Even when they’re struggling. And because they’re kind people, they don’t think they deserve a trophy for it.
This fortnight has been hard for me, and it’s been hard to not to be… unkind to myself. I know about positive affirmations and the importance of being gentle with yourself, but knowing what I should do doesn’t mean I do it. I find the one thing that helps is saying nice things about other people. Because right now, I don’t believe any of the nice things I can say about me, but I believe everything I just wrote about all my friends and loved ones.
Giving sincere compliments that's not just a bunch of 😍💯😍💯😍🔥🔥🔥 is sometimes weird and awkward, but I really think it’s the best kind of weird and awkward to be. The fact that I try not to suppress my compliments when I feel them bubbling out is the only weird and awkward thing I like about myself right now. If you don’t give compliments often, give it a shot!
And if you’re reading this and you’re thinking, are they talking about me? The answer is Probably! Even if you think I’m wrong! (I’m not wrong.) I am talking to you!
Sincerely,
You’re Rad.